Fifteen years ago, I never expressed my thoughts, keeping quiet about things, accepting the status-quo and concerned with the feelings of others overall. I’m still nice to others, but I've changed. The pollyanna factor has really declined. Nowadays, if you ask me a question or seek my opinion, I give an honest answer. No more fluffy, cotton candy, buffer-your fragile feelings replies. It’s time to grow-up, woman-up, deal with life, get a life and learn to treat others with respect. Guess what? That’s always been my advice to anyone and everyone else! Gotta tell you, I’m really liking the 50 year-old me.
A friend recently contacted me and asked why I left her home during a celebration where there was not a spare inch to stand or sit. I was clearly in the way and uncomfortable about it, while knocking into another person every 30 seconds. I made a decision…to go straight to my car and drive home. I never heard a word from the host, and didn't expect to, actually didn't expect to be missed. Then yesterday, my cell phone vibrated in the middle of my weekly library visit. I did not recognize the caller. This time, I didn’t respond the old-me-way by running outside to answer. I hit the “ignore” button. It’s not an emergency, I’ll get back to them.
Safely back in the privacy of my car, I returned the call to the unknown party. Surprise, it was the host from the celebration. “What’s up?” I asked. She wanted to know why I seemed so “mad” (her words not mine) during the party and then left. Mad? Mad? Isn’t that some kind of animal emotion? Human beings become angry when agitated, and I wasn’t even close. The incorrect word choice “mad” merely underscored my host's incorrect perception of the situation and choice of vocabulary. I have to admit, I ALMOST slipped back into the old make-an-excuse person, but I quickly did a 360 degree turn back to 50-year-old me. “I wasn’t mad.” I replied, “I was uncomfortable. There was not a spare inch in which to sit or stand, and I felt like I was in everyone’s way. I attended by completing the trifecta of any bridal shower. I hugged and kissed the bride-to-be, presented my gift, stayed and hour and a half and split, and in quite pleasant manner, so not to disrupt the joyful day. Oh and FYI - I don’t get angry or upset very easily, and certainly not to cause any drama EVER.”
Honest expression behind me, WOW, I was at peace. This IS the new me. You know, Jerry Seinfeld used to have a bit he did onstage about old people just backing their car out of the driveway without looking backward to check for safety, “I’m old and I’m backing out.” Very humorous, well, I’m not QUITE that old yet, but I’m on track for a fifty-something and that's life! It's funny -- I've paid my dues, and nowadays I'm totally honest take me or leave me. Honest life, honest opinions, honest existence. Why wasn’t I this way at thirty-something? Guess it takes time. Look out, I'm just coming at you life, the true me. Get ready!
Another friend tells me that this is my signature mantra, so I'll share it with you, "I'm just tossing this out for your consideration." and I would like to add, "Keeping you posted!"
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