Yabba-dabba Stone-age Banking

Haven’t blogged much lately, but was inspired by a chain of events from service companies last week which left me feeling like, “You can’t get there from here….” This essay is dedicated to Wilmington Trust Bank, Comcast and Verizon and the pain they have caused due to their lack of real customer service.




A probable result from a stuffy head/brain following a nasty cold, I incorrectly signed into the work online banking account incorrectly twice. In a nanosecond I was locked out -- S-L-A-M!! -- no questions asked -- security or otherwise.


Realizing my failure, I kick-started my fuzzy post-cold brain and called the customer service center for internet customers. Am I a signer on the account? No, but I’m an authorized user…and have been for over 5 years. Yes, I’ll hold….The customer service rep returns to informs me that I am no longer an authorized user; and I must bring a physical person who is an authorized signer on the account into the bank branch office.

Seriously? Is the bank manager’s name Fred Flinstone? Should I bring my chisel and stone tablet as well? Painful past experience with this backwards bank leads me to hypothesize if I call them again tomorrow, more than likely the response will be completely different. So I choose to do what I often refer to as “The Scarlett-O’Hara-I’ll-think-about-that-tomorrow “ option.

The next day I call the branch, hoping for a bit more faith, hope and charity from folks who know they’ve been on my nasty list for similar past stone-aged, torturous experiences. At least I know these folks by name, and revel in the speculation that when I call and introduce myself to them by phone, they’re more than likely thinking, “Oh, please not her again….” Not that I’ve been nasty, mind you, it’s simply that their operational methods are very archaic and I let them know it each time we meet/speak.

My call to the bank branch is greeted by a “floating CSR.” Fabulous! I’m not even able to revel in any speculation, because he doesn’t know me at all. I explain my problem and receive the same advice, which shocks me because I’ve never had that happen before. I prepare “plan B” and draft an authorized signer on the account to accompany me to the branch to straighten out this mess. The only good news for the signer is that I promise to do all of the talking.

Once inside the bank and comfortably seated at said floating CSR’s desk, we hit a little snag. Not only does an authorized signer need to be present, but said signer should also be a current officer of the corporation where I work. This is the little detail that stone-age bank ALWAYS fails to disclose before one or more people are inconvenienced to drive there to solve ANY problem. Nevertheless, authorized signer and myself begin to discuss our plans to transfer our funds out of our present bank into a more user-friendly financial institution. Floating CSR understands our frustration – really, he does -- as he turns us away to return another day.

And all of this because I had a cold and signed into my online checking with the wrong password!  Believe me, our 2011 Corporate Resolution listing authorized bank users and signers cannot arrive soon enough, which is most likely when we'll choose a new institution of finance.  And guess what? Stone age bank isn’t even in the running, because their operation is so Grinchy and Scroogey to customers it is beyond words.

An imaginary baby tear is cascading somewhere, but not down my cheek.

PS -- Merry Christmas Grinchey Scrooges!