Reasons Why the Three Little Kittens Were Probably Catholics

Three little kittens they lost their mittens, and they began to cry, "Oh mother dear, we sadly fear that we have lost our mittens." Automatically, their first reaction is to confess their loss? This may be interpreted as pure catholic guilt at its most primary level, as there is no direct indication of even the most basic loss investigation. These kittens (referred to herein as “the perpetrators”) immediately blame themselves and spring into confession mode. There is no curiosity as to whether maybe, just maybe, some other nasty criminal kitten/perp mistakenly swiped or picked the mittens up? Absolutely no; instead they proceed directly to the authority figure (i.e., mother dear) to confess their error.

"What! Lost your mittens, you naughty kittens! Then you shall have no pie." Mother–dear’s reply is clear and concise. You are in trouble! If you ever attended Catholic school, this is most definitely representative of principal, who is quite likely an IHM nun. (Remember getting your hands slapped with a ruler?) Mother’s response causes the three little kittens to whine in a meowing sequence followed by crying, because they just lost their favorite treat of the day. (Oh great, just what we wanted to hear, whining, crying kittens. "Meeow, meeow, meeow, now we shall have no pie.")

To conclude, this particular nursery rhyme presents the sequence of sin, confession and redemption, which is highlighted and proven when the kitten perpetrators discover, "Oh mother dear, see here, see here for we have found our mittens." Mother dear is pleased and responds affectionately with the redemptive answer, “Put on your mittens, you silly kittens And you shall have some pie."

The story continues lyrically two more times and the former perpetrators/kittens soil their mittens and then they’re clean, etc., which is a repeat of main theme. But we get it already. No need to lather-rinse-repeat.

Finally, there’s a suggestion of a rat nearby. Whatever the religion of these sweet kittens, it really doesn't matter at this point, because they have come full circle and now they must trump evil -- the devil a/k/a the rat. No longer baby kittens, they are almost full-grown cats and fully capable of trumping a rat any day of the week -- which also provides a good vs. evil theme!

Next discussion -- The Rat – potential convert or agnostic?